I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
