I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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