dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We got so high we made milksteak
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
