if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
