im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
