Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
