wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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