Moan for me like Helen Keller
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
