I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He has the fingertips of a God
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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