fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
