idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
