She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
