And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
