Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize