Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize