so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
