i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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