Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
