shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
