people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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