dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
