what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
