Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
