While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Blow job season was short but glorious.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
