let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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