We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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