I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she smelled like a LAN party
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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