does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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