How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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