oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
