so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
