OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
