I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
