We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
