Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
