i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
