Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
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