Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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