He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
