ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
