2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
now i know why i became what i already was.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
