FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so let's talk penis.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
