Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
