the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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