I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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