bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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