He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize