I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
