Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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