I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i now understand why vodka
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
