I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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