no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We have started to decorate penises.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize