That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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