Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
