This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
