shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize