Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize