either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He felt like a one man threesome
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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