I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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