Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
are you so shy because you have an std?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
