If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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