Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
