We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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