ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
no, he came in my armpit
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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